Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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