Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
