U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
