I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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