I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
