so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
