Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
