It's Friday. Sex?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
