ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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