The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
