you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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