one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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