Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
