As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
