Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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