Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
