Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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