3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
