$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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