I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
