It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
