why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
