You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
