Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
