Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
