wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
