Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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