I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
