I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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