if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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