I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
