I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
