my vag is so smooth its legendary
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
