he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
