I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
