all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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