Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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