College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
