My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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