There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
