I just cut my nipple shaving
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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