you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The beer is more important than you right now.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
