hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
