i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
