he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
