this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
