Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
