I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
