I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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