I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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