i dedicated my morning wood to you.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
