Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
